dirty little secret.

in contrast, i feel horrible today. towards the end, i felt depressed. not that extreme i guess. but i felt.. left out?

i feel like crap everytime i think about it. am i trying too hard? such that i always feel disappointed when things don't turn out the same. i feel insignificant and small, like if i disappeared for one week, no one would notice. that kind of feeling. i know its silly, but i just can't help it. its as though there is this drift, and i just can't mend it or do anything about it. sigh.

havent gone out or hung out with weiwen this whole week. guess school's being an ass. so much to do, so many tests, so little time. its finally hte end of the week, but yet, when you think about a levels, its barely the beginning. later i'm gg for club, like finally. i feel so bad. got lotsa catching up to do with denise ong, prob havent talked to her since i don't know when.

i just wished i could change things and be closer with my friends. kinda regret like hanging out too much with ww last year. ah wells.

i do feel accomplished inteh sense that i have been feeling like doing work in a way. but not maths. i dont know why, but he is becoming very sarcastic. sigh.

there are so many things bottling inside of me, and i dont even know who i can tell? its such a big issue, but who can hear me out? i can't pretend it never happened, because it did, and things are going to change. but then again, who can i tell?

what a depressing sight.